The most thoughtful questions to ask when networking are tailored to the person you’re talking to, as well as the issue you’re discussing. If the issue at hand is that you’re looking for a job, ideally you have researched the general career path for your target line of work, so your questions uncover new insights or nuances not easily available to the general public (i.e., what an employer really wants) — this can help you advance your job application. If the person you’re talking to is someone at a target employer, ideally you have researched the company and/or job opening enough so your questions uncover specific hiring priorities — this can be a deciding factor in the job interview process.
That said, sometimes you don’t have advance preparation time to do any tailoring – for example, if you’re meeting someone for the first time at a conference or other professional event. In that case, tailor as much as you can, and keep in mind some untailored but still helpful questions that can work in many situations. Here are four thoughtful questions to ask when networking:
1 – What brings you to this event?
This is a friendly and easy way to open a conversation with a stranger, but importantly, this question zeroes in on your new contact’s priorities. The best networking is focused on the other person, so understanding what they’re looking for can help you help them. You might be able to make introductions for them to others at the event, or in your follow-up post-event you might share a helpful article or make meaningful recommendations because you know what they’re working on.
2 – How did you become [ROLE] or enter [INDUSTRY]?
Usually people introduce themselves by talking about where they work and what they do, or it might even be on their name tag (e.g., accountant at EY). Asking about their origin story is a friendly way to learn more about their background without sounding like you’re interrogating them. How did you get into accounting? Have you always been an accountant? Have you worked at EY your entire career?
People love to talk about themselves and wax nostalgic about their early days, so it’s a fun question for your new contact. For you, it’s an opportunity to learn about their background and gauge how you want to tailor the conversation and follow-up going forward. If there’s overlap between their career path and what you are targeting, you may want to schedule further conversation post-event to ask more questions later (you never want to monopolize someone’s time at an event where there are others they may want to meet). If there doesn’t seem to be an obvious collaboration opportunity, you can focus on making more of a social connection for now (this is still valuable since you never know who or what people know, and your overall network is critical to tapping the hidden job market).
3 – What do you love most about working in [ROLE or INDUSTRY]?
In addition to or instead of asking about someone’s origin story (question 2), you can ask what they love most about being an accountant, working in the accounting industry or working at EY specifically. This is a positively framed question, which encourages your new contact stays to keep a happy state of mind. It’s also an open-ended question (not a closed, Yes or No choice), which encourages your new contact to say as little or as much as they’d like.
As you hear your new contact talk about what they love about their work, listen for what parts of their job overlap with what you want to do – this might be an opportunity to collaborate, or an area where they can share helpful insights with you. If you don’t see any overlap, hearing what your new contact is interested in and passionate about will at least help you deepen the social connection.
4 – What do you know now that you wished you knew when you started?
This question encourages reflection about one’s career, and answers can go in a lot of different directions, giving you more information and time to figure out how to tailor the conversation and subsequent follow up. Some people answer it by talking about key skills and expertise that have served them well. If their career overlaps your professional objectives, this gives you insight into what you might prioritize. Even if your new contact is in a very different line of work, there may be some general pearls of wisdom that could apply to you, or at least you’ll glean some insights for your accounting friends!
Some people talk about critical choices along the way – why they decided to join EY, stay in accounting or pivot to accounting (if they initially did something else). You might learn something about the industry at large or different companies in that market. Even if your new contact is in a different line of work than you, hearing about different companies and industries is helpful to your overall understanding of the job market.
Thoughtful questions focus on learning about the other person
The best networking is tailored, and genuine networking relationships are built over time (here’s a checklist to see if your networking is paying off). Therefore, the most thoughtful questions when meeting people are the ones that enable you to learn enough about your new contacts so you can tailor your follow-up in a meaningful way (e.g., make relevant recommendations, share helpful information). Knowing more about your new contacts also allows you to prioritize which ones you’ll focus on for your job search right now v. general relationships you can nurture over time for your overall professional network.
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